Rape insinuation

You'll find out quickly I'm an ardent feminist who sides easily with women who are raped (or fake raped - 1-8% of the time; remember, the lady who changes her story is experiencing trauma & that's common in times like this!). But today, I have two odd feminist issues to touch on.

My boyfriend & I went as Miley & Robin from the VMAs for Halloween... he as Miley & I as Robin. Of COURSE, people laughed at the gender switch. But were folks ok with me touching random men & proclaiming "he's a good girl"? I'm ok if they were offended by my singing voice. But I'm not sure how they felt about me objectifying men. Most laughed. Because it's rare & unexpected? I doubt that. I think it's because it's against societal norms & because new things make folks uncomfortable & cause laughter. NOT because my objectification causes actual concern for men. (Of course, they also laughed because it's out of character for me, but if a female were to objectify men - and possibly assault men - in public, people would still laugh.)

Also, I do stand-up sometimes. It won't be a career for me & I'm not interested enough to do it nightly. But I do it. A man I know was recently accused of being rapey in a joke. Knowing his humor, I doubt it. He seems a stronger comedian than that. (Rape jokes are laaaaaaazy!) And, I've never seen him even broach anything near offensiveness. I'd stand up for him. I think he's innocent. But how can I say that & simultaneously stand up for women who were raped? Am I a hypocrite?

First, obviously no to my last question, but it's sad that believing victims is so rare that I have to worry about my reaction to any feminist-ish issue. Second, I'd recommend gender-bending roles if you can. (This was an odd circumstance when my boyfriend was down because it was funny -- not because it was a social experiment.) In my case, I wasn't there & don't know the details re: the joke but I still stand with him... but I feel awkward being the Robin to the Miley. I feel hypocritical in both, but I feel both are valuable to adding to me as an overall human.

Maybe I'm too tipsy from my roommate's bday/ Halloween party & can't come up with a solution. Or, maybe, it's confusing with all the messages sent to us. Either way, I can't draw anything from these incidents, but I hope any readers enjoyed this entry & understand they aren't alone when contemplating gender issues.