1) Finding value from who you are, internally, is a constant battle. If I feel bad about a day (bc I let someone down or feel I didn't do as much as I should have or anything that makes the day bad & I accept blame), it can ruin my attitude until I get into work the next day & 'fix' it. Fixing the problem can often be doing the task I didn't do but then also punishing myself by doing needless tasks. Since folks talk so often about Catholic guilt, I've said many times I'm the only atheist Catholic with all the guilt I feel. If I feel bad about a workout, I feel bad about it for good. There is no coming back. If I punish myself at the next workout, I just think "good; that's what a workout should be. Can't believe I failed last time." In previous job searches, my confidence also has been tied up in that. A brutal blow that can be.
2) My doc asked me today if I feel so much better since I've lost 9 pounds. The right answer is yes, so that's what I said, but I really feel the same.
3) I've lived in my home for over 4 years now, but if someone told me to "put everything away" in my room, I wouldn't know where to put a lot of things.
4) I wish I had someone to tell me where to put future $$. I have 6+ months saved, but do I keep putting it there? Or pay off student loans faster? Or save for a down payment?
I wish life was easier & tonight, I wish writing was easier. I hope this post was at least vaguely amusing & I promise to return tomorrow with some good material.
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