HAPPY ELECTION DAY!

In many places throughout the country, today was Election Day. And it appears most of you voted the way I would have.

Gays can marry in Illinois, Des Moines has a pro-labor mayor, & the Cooch has gotta stay out of the cooch of the ladies of Virginia!

Congratulations voters! Tomorrow is another day during which we all (including those of us like me who did NOT get to vote today) fight on for more equality, more opportunity, more freedom.

Until then, happy celebrating! (Or sleeping!)

No!

Rape culture means, and I'm simplifying it here, it's a woman's fault if she's raped. Because she dressed too modestly or too sluttily, because she was too forward or not forward enough, because she was too 'bitchy' or not 'bitchy' enough, because she was too drunk.

And now this is being made: http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2013/11/04/ar_wear_these_anti_rape_shorts_update_the_chastity_belt_for_the_rape_culture.html. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Rather than eat away at rape culture, it will give authority figures ANOTHER way to blame rape victims. It will ALSO possibly harm the potential victim. Rape survivors are called survivors for a reason. Some die. Why? Because rape is about power, not sex. These devices will likely cause rapists to get frustrated &/or angry & violent. And these are DEVICES, not comfortable clothing made for you but a protective device made to ATTEMPT to prevent you from being harmed.

And, what message does it send? It's YOUR responsibility, ladies, to protect your sexuality (can't be too close to the whore side of the virgin/ whore dichotomy bc if you're a bad girl no man will ever want to marry you) EVEN IN THE CASE OF RAPE.

It's NOT your job to protect yourself from crimes. If you're mugged or stolen from or killed, NO MATTER WHAT YOU WERE DOING (assuming you're the right color), you aren't blamed, but with rape you are and now here's, not a teaching mechanism in place to teach potential rapists not to rape, but another device for women to protect themselves in case of crime. What the hell?

For any rape victims who read this, I simply want to leave you with this. Much of society will tell you the opposite, but Robin Williams nails it here: http://youtu.be/GtkST5-ZFHw

Crime victims, you're a victim. It's not your fault & society shouldn't be told repeatedly that it is.

The First PSA

I named this post "the first PSA" because I'm sure it'll be the first of MANY on this blog.

Syria - yes, the one our Senate discussed using military action in earlier this year - has an outbreak of polio. Polio was thought to be on its way out due to widespread use of vaccination worldwide. They were hoping to declare it extinct.

I'm not sure of the circumstances surrounding this outbreak, but I am sure of one thing: You should get vaccinated - for everything you can - and you should do the same for your kids. Vaccines do NOT cause autism. That's been repeatedly debunked (though folks like Jenny McCarthy keep trying to rebunk it). The ONLY circumstance under which you or others should not get vaccinated (for MMR, polio, the flu, anything) is if you are allergic. Otherwise, get vaccinated. Lack of vaccines cause outbreaks! To pull out a trope I kind of hate: The life you save may be your own.

What label are you?

Starting very young & continuing for a very long time, folks often look for a label to describe what they are. In high school, it's jock, prep, nerd. In the adult world, it's businessperson, redneck, even hipster. 

As a kid, my little brother loved NASCAR. When he joined marching band the summer before 8th grade, he was mocked ceaselessly, often by the older kids, for his 'redneck' interest. Soon after, he lost interest, probably because of the mocking, & that's when I became much more aware of the labels we give one another & give activities.

I'm not sure *what* I am, but I do generally strive to be on the classier side of things. I also try to avoid 'redneck' activities. I actually hate NASCAR, so that's never been a trouble, and when I was young, I found out I also hated tractor pulls (another activity I gave the redneck title to). But, in the intervening years, I found out I enjoy demolition derbies; monster truck rallies (or at least the one I went to that was indoors); &, this weekend, Punkin' Chunkin.

I think it's quite popular in my age range (20s-30s) to like things ironically, but I don't. I just like these things (& don't really understand why or how to like something ironically). Liking these things a) doesn't detract from my definition of classy, & b) doesn't make me a redneck. That said:

1) Who cares if I am a 'redneck'? I know folks who I like who are great, smart people who classify themselves that way.

And 2) Liking a variety of things - some in the redneck category, some in the hipster category, some in the techie category, etc. makes someone an interesting person.

Figuring out why we all operate by labels probably won't ever occur. I'm 31 & just wrote this post since it's something I still struggle with. But I do think recognizing my interest in labels, labelling it (I really do love labels.), & saying it's ok has merit until I figure out to just like what I like & don't what I don't.

In the meantime, Punkin' Chunkin is AMAZING fun & I recommend you all go with good friends to have a wonderful fall time. Caveat: take TP with you & find the good port-o-pots to have the best time. Sure, you may label it as 'rednecky,' but it's still a great time with a lot of cool science & fun pumpkin hurls.

Cranky

I was cranky today - suuuuuuper cranky. I had a less than stellar day yesterday at work, & today wasn't much better. Today, too, I was super productive which made me more annoyed. I feel on days when you do your total, 110% best, you should somehow be rewarded by having nobody express dissatisfaction with you or your company in any way. Luckily, my bosses are good & understood, but I still was quite annoyed.

I was so annoyed, in fact, that I opted to take it out (partly) on my roommates. They didn't deserve it and now, in addition to having a poor day at work, I feel bad because I was a jerk. Ugh. Luckily, I'm blessed with amaaaaazing roommates, and it doesn't matter that much because they know I'm a better person than I was today, but still: annoying. I also got this much closer to unfriending my libertarian friend on Facebook. (Though I do that any time he discusses entitlement programs being eliminated in favor of charity only, I got a lot angrier & closer today.) I also got extraordinarily annoyed with all the people listing things they're thankful for. Seriously, November is a shit month for cynics on Facebook.

On top of that, EVERY little thing on my commute home made me mad. (SERIOUSLY, THOUGH! WALK AT TOP SPEED ON PUBLIC TRANSIT. That annoys me daily.)

I'm on my way right now to Punkin Chunkin (which you may have seen on Discovery Channel), and I'm having my boyfriend listen to silly songs with me in the car which is great and making me happier. I'm excited & it'll be a grand time with friends.

I just wish I could be a bit more compartmentalized & leave work annoyances at work & home at home. Alas, I'm human & that probably won't happen. Let's hope this month improves.

#BostonStrong?

The Boston Red Sox won the World Series last night. I heartily congratulate them. I'm not a baseball fan at all, but as a current sorta East Coaster (DC), I am drawn regularly into the Yankees/ Red Sox rivalry. Truthfully, I don't like televised baseball, & since I only see those teams that way, my #1 hope is that they both disappear. However, since they'll both keep existing despite my wishes, I don't care who wins, but I like the projection of the Red Sox attitude better. First, I love the song Sweet Caroline; second, I like that they don't care how players look [That Johnny dude who went from Red Sox to Yankees after they won for the first time in 81 (or 87?) years & cut his hair is totally a jerk in the eyes of all non-Yankee fans.]; and third, Sox fans are 50% annoying & 50% endearing when they claim to be an underdog ALL of the time. (Mark my words; those guys will lose the first three games next year, claim to have a rebuilding year, and then easily win the World Series again but talk the whole season about their underdogness. Poor Cubs fans are true underdogs but don't chatter nearly as much about their HORRIBLE WOES!) The Yankees, on the other hand, seem like evil robots somehow. 

The point of this whole rant so far is I like the Sox well enough given that they're a baseball team (and that I truly do feel very sorry for the Cubs)...

BUT...

I think anyone who is using the hashtag #BostonStrong to show the pride in their team is an ass. #BostonStrong was a hashtag used after the Boston marathon this year because a tragedy took place at the end of said marathon. Two horrific men created bombs made of pressure cookers that killed &/or injured multiple people near the finish line of the marathon. One died by being runover by his brother (the other perpetrator of the crime). The other ran rampant in an almost totally shutdown city (Boston) for over a day before hiding in the boat of some folks who called the police. The police killed the man there. Boston went through a TERRIBLE time, and they impressed the shit out of the rest of us by holding themselves together when we imagine we'd all have been cowered in our living rooms crying. THAT's what Boston strong is. Now, they want to hijack the hashtag for a baseball game?

My boyfriend actually argued with me saying that the hashtag means the city overcame & they overcame to win the World Series too. I disagree very strongly and think it was for one event. I feel if the Yankees hashtagged a World Series win with #NeverForget, it would be a similar transgression.

David Ortiz is an amazing baseball player, but he's NOT what made #BostonStrong & what made Boston an inspiration in April. What did make that were the folks who finished the marathon & kept running to a blood bank to give blood to those who'd just lost it. What else did make #BostonStrong was the restaurant near the marathon finish line that turned into a triage center filled with restaurant employees turned pseudo-doctors. What didn't make #BostonStrong was Tom Brady's come-from-behind arm that took the Pats to a victory when they were far down after the first half (another instance when folks used the hashtag) What else did make #BostonStrong was the people of Boston huddled bravely in their homes knowing a strange killer (who ran over his brother & left him to die after he created pressure cooker bombs set to go off at the finish line of a marathon - something that should bring NOTHING but pride & joy to all who try & certainly all who complete it) was on the loose in the town they know & love. What did not make #BostonStrong was winning a baseball game & shoving St Louis's face in it.

Hashtags for tragedies should NEVER be used to discuss something outside of the tragedy. I am not arguing that the people of Boston aren't strong - they are - but I think there's a way to honor that (& their great baseball team) without pulling the symbol of a tragedy into it.

Writer's Block

I'm having some writer's block & I've tossed three drafts already. Here are some random thoughts for today.

1) Finding value from who you are, internally, is a constant battle. If I feel bad about a day (bc I let someone down or feel I didn't do as much as I should have or anything that makes the day bad & I accept blame), it can ruin my attitude until I get into work the next day & 'fix' it. Fixing the problem can often be doing the task I didn't do but then also punishing myself by doing needless tasks. Since folks talk so often about Catholic guilt, I've said many times I'm the only atheist Catholic with all the guilt I feel. If I feel bad about a workout, I feel bad about it for good. There is no coming back. If I punish myself at the next workout, I just think "good; that's what a workout should be. Can't believe I failed last time." In previous job searches, my confidence also has been tied up in that. A brutal blow that can be.

2) My doc asked me today if I feel so much better since I've lost 9 pounds. The right answer is yes, so that's what I said, but I really feel the same.

3) I've lived in my home for over 4 years now, but if someone told me to "put everything away" in my room, I wouldn't know where to put a lot of things.

4) I wish I had someone to tell me where to put future $$. I have 6+ months saved, but do I keep putting it there? Or pay off student loans faster? Or save for a down payment?

I wish life was easier & tonight, I wish writing was easier. I hope this post was at least vaguely amusing & I promise to return tomorrow with some good material.